When “I’m Praying for You” Isn’t Enough

For the past few weeks my heart has been heavy. So many of my friends have been faced with the untimely deaths of their loved ones, and even more of my friends and loved ones are dealing with terrible health challenges. While it would be easy (and true) for me to say, “I’m praying for you,” that often doesn’t convey my heart’s intent.

The thing of it is, not everyone in my life who’s struggling has the same beliefs I do. When I say I’m praying for them, it doesn’t carry the same weight as it would for a fellow Believer. In fact, it may even come off as trite and dismissive. And I get that! There was a season in my life where those words felt like an empty promise, as though someone were saying them simply because there were no other words to say.

It seems to me there’s a time when we have to move beyond the words and speak a language our loved ones from a different belief system will understand, namely actions. Volunteering to help, donate, drive someone, give them food or clothing, pay a bill, cook a meal–all ways to convey love in a meaningful way. Not saying I do this all the time, but I’m trying by God’s grace to move this direction. (Except the meals, people are more appreciative when I don’t cook, thank you very much.)

Of course, too, there’s value in simply mourning with those who mourn. Sometimes even loving gestures don’t go far enough, and sharing someone’s burden of grief is the biggest way to show our hearts.

This all brings me to another point. If we do say we’re going to pray for someone, we’d better be prepared to be God’s answer. Years ago, I felt God caution me on this. Since we are, in fact, His body, we will often be the way He chooses to answer.

How can I pray in good conscience for God to meet someone’s needs if I’m not willing to pay the bill they’re stressing over? That doesn’t mean He’ll nudge me to do that in every situation I pray for, but I believe there’s more power in the prayer of someone with a willing heart. (I’m not a theologian, so take it for what’s it’s worth.)

For the record, I still do pray for people, even if I’m not saying it. And when I do pray, I’m reaching out with full faith that the Creator of the universe is coming on the scene with divine intervention. I’m asking Him to be who He is in the situation, that HE will be the answer because He’s all in all. And that the person in need can step into His goodness and experience the peace that passes understanding.